Constellations

We scratched our names in the sky
Etched our hands in the grass
Dry under the moonless night
Your tongue warm and wet
My eyes straining to see yours -
Crystal points reflecting light,
My dark shadowed mouth seeking
Your silent acquiescence

How did we find each other there
In the field across the road
After dark on a Tuesday
Under all those stars?

We never found the North Star
But it shined down all the same
Orion and The Pleiades
Shimmering ancient beacons
Leading us to one another,
Though I would have found you
Even in the pitchest black.


-GSS 2012

Spring Thaw

Melting snow holds tight around the trees
New green leaves shaking lightly
As sun shaft shadows scatter light
Spindly thawing twigs break at right angles
Encountered by unnatural intrusion
Dusty iron grills filled with old char dry and crack
Empty picnic tables expand again, at last
Wood grains releasing moisture into air

When the silence is complete and I am whole
The noise of the falling river will lift me
Out of this darkness punctuated by
Ice breaking into shards
Pine needles will stick to my hands,
Sand grinding into my teeth and
This need for sharing will drown

I could die here, easily, disappear into earth
Blend back into the dust of last winter
My solid and un-weathered parts
Glinting back out through the sun
But I will choose to go on,
To find night amid the mountains
Eat a small dinner for one,
Sleep, dream and breathe you,
Then begin again.

-GSS 2012

Rush

Your voice reminds me of the
Epinephrine rush
I got one time
Before a root canal
Right after the needle went in
When my eyes crossed and
I couldn't uncross them and
My heart went crazy
Couldn't slow down
There was a moment I thought
I might die
Before the cup of water and
The soft, gloved hands to
Calm me down.

High Tide

My heart passenger angel
Transfixed by glossy mood
Sipping soda
Skipping slowly
To the pond at the end of the road

The floods came that summer
And we never saw the moon
Hopes dashed
Plates smashed
I left you in that room

Carried away by water
Touched by many hands
The dancers took their time
Weaving through the brine
The last glimpse
Salt in your hair
Blood on my wounds

Winter breathing darkly dawning
Lips frozen fingers on my face
Half sober
Falling over
Whispers echoing in space

I took it for granted once
A bridge near-buried
Cars like husks
Soft fabric caskets within
People stranded like buoys
On rooftops

I left you in a room
Small pocket, dry island
Cold sun risen past noon

Bathroom Break

Staring at these Mondrian tiles while
I sit looking down
From above
Blue squares and one rectangle
Repeated endlessly
In my bathroom
In my 3AM haze
Two small squares broken by one much larger

Like you break me - broken

One yellow wall framed in white
Too many doors and a bedroom too small
A dresser drawer hanging
A fan blowing without pause
A cat tree well-used
These things, I pass on my way
In the dark, to
Fall back into bed
With you

Fireflies

I never knew there were
fireflies in the New York City
Until one night
A flicker of light
On a dark street
In Queens
The shadows from the trees
Masking the tall lamps above

I walked quickly all those years
My eyes on the concrete
My ears on my footfalls
Aware of anyone behind me and
Ahead
Too scared to look left or right
To catch that glimpse of light
From an unassuming
Black fly

I saw them in clusters
Darting in circles
Bright yellow bursting open and fading
I stood still in the street
Tried to take a picture with
My phone
Could not time it well
And got only darkness
A picture unsaved -
Elusive insect biochemically lit
From within
While artificial bulb squares
Serve as backdrop
Brick buildings and curbs,
Nature obscured
By the city.

-GSS 2009

Breaking

If I take all of our communications
Bottle them up and
Try to make them work
I get one message:
You do not deserve me

You do not deserve me because
I am honorable
I can see the shades of gray
I am honest
I am living life two steps ahead of you
I have seen the color and the shadow
I cannot forget your hands on me
Despite your indecision

The purple in the sky looks like bruises
I am reminded of all you said
Those short missives
Those midnight impulses
Your pictures
Your body
Broken up into segments
Broken down into small, easily digestible
Portions

I can look at you whenever I want to
Through the static and pixels but
You don't blink and you don't move
The silence is disconcerting
As it has been
Since the day I left

I want you more than I want many things
Your complicated situation aside
The box was not small enough to contain us
But I should have walked away
You have your decisions to make
Your emotions to swallow
And where does that leave me -
Inside and outside
Up and down
Waiting on your infrequent words

I am mixed up and unaware of
Where you are
Where you have been
What you have said or
Have not said
Where your hands are, your fingers
Where your lips are, your breath
Whether she can hear your heart beat
Or not
I want to hear your low voice
Your laughter
See your eyes shine just for me
I want your fingers in my
I want your tongue on my
I want your face
Your ears
Your hair

This waiting is impossible but
I am resigned to it
A challenge
A growing
Breaking free of past patterns
Help me out of this wondering
Help me see through you
I can see right through you.

-GSS 2009